Five Jokes: 1-22-2025
Netflix Price Hike, A Sexy Evolution Theory, Ryan Gosling's 'Star Wars' Talks, CashApp Pays Back, and A Layoff Email Flub
Pssst! — if you find daily emails annoying, you can modify your subscription experience here!
Hey! It’s Wednesday in America, shout out to the inauguration prayer service’s pastor who asked Trump to ‘have mercy’ on transgender kids while he and his entire family disassociated by playing “La Bamba” in their heads —
— AND to comedian/writer for joining me in this week’s You Are The Genre podcast!
[Paid subscribers can listen ahead to next week’s episode w/ chief historian at the Center for Brooklyn History, Dominique Jean-Louis, tomorrow!]
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.
Y’all hear about this?..
Netflix’s cheapest plan in the US with ads will go from $6.99 to $7.99 per month, while its priciest subscription is nearly $25 — forcing more and more Americans in grocery aisled to decide… “eggs or Is It Cake?”
According to a new paper in the journal Biology Letters, men are getting increasingly "sexy and formidable," gaining in height and weight at twice the rate that women are. However, there is good reason to dispute this theory, as the paper was written by Dr. Shaquille O'Neal.
Ryan Gosling is in talks to lead in a "Star Wars" film. The parameters of his role are unknown, but all fan theories point toward Gosling being the franchises first live action H.I.L.F.
Don’t act like you don’t know what the “H” stands for. 😉
The parent company of mobile banking platform Cash App has been ordered to pay $175 million to users due to weak security procedures — but just like anyone you’ve ever loaned money to on Cash App, “it’s gon’ be a minute, playa.”
Finally…
The payments-software company Stripe accidentally emailed an image of a cartoon duck to some employees when notifying them that they had been laid off. Embarrassing as it is… the staff member responsible the mistake is just grateful they sent an image from their “funny duck” folder instead of the one labelled “H.I.L.F.”
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
If you enjoyed those, check out yesterday’s jokes! OR:
OR subscribe to my YOU ARE THE GENRE podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or right here in the matrix of the newsletter!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Hoff Matthews with a review of Joe Biden’s life in politics that’s sure to make you laugh…
SIDE NOTE: I interviewed Hoff on an episode of You Are The Genre!
Also, a quick Drew Carey appreciation post with this throwback to his Tonight Show debut:
STRAY THOUGHT
IN OTHER NEWS…
[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
Don’t forget you can still vote on your favorite jokes from last week!
“Why are is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it all here:
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See you tomorrow with…
The duck thing would have made more sense if the company had been Aflac.