Five Jokes: 10-1-2024
Travis Kelce's Game Show, Jimmy Carter's 100th Birthday, 43-Foot Naked Trump, Cologne Collection Trends, and The Merging Of DirecTV And Dish
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Y’all hear about this?..
Travis Kelce is making his hosting debut in Amazon’s game show Are You Smarter Than a Celebrity? It starts off easy for non-celebrties with questions like "How much is a carton of milk?” but ramps up in difficulty with questions like “Do A.I. replicas of actors require intimacy coaches during sex scenes?”
Jimmy Carter has reached his 100th birthday, making him the first American president to have lived a full century. To put this all into context, if we replaced the word “century” with “Jimmy Carter,” the U.S.A is only two and a half Jimmy Carters old. So, sure this achievement is great news for Mr. Carter, but a little worrisome for anyone who thinks Trump will give it a rest if he loses the election. That man will run until he gets so senile he proclaims, “I’M eating the dogs!!”
DirecTV and Dish are merging into the largest US pay-TV provider. So large, in fact, that the dishes have become bowls.
Men’s colognes — some from the 1990s — are having a resurgence among high-school boys. Apparently, the ladies can’t resist a whiff of The 1994 Crime Bill.
Finally…
A 43-foot effigy of an entirely nude Donald Trump that mysteriously appeared outside Las Vegas over the weekend has been condemned by Nevada Republicans, who slammed the “deplorable” sculpture as “pornographic.” It should be noted that Nevada Republicans are the only citizens how had a sexual thought while looking at it.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
How about an brilliant comedy album from Tim Platt!
STRAY THOUGHT
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
Kind of the vibe these days…
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Top of mind question: "How is a football player known only for a relationship with an overexposed musician qualified to host a game show?"