Five Jokes: 10-11-2024
TD Bank's Multi-Billion Dollar Fine, Donald Trump Insults Detroit, Tesla's Humanoid Robot Prototype, The Myth Of The October Surprise, and Dr. Dre vs. His Marriage Counselor
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TD Bank has agreed to pay roughly $3 billion in fines on charges of ignoring flagrant activity by criminals who used the bank to transfer funds. And in a related memo to customers, the bank has asked all criminals take a good look in the mirror and do better… at coming up with believable names for their front businesses.
Donald Trump insulted Detroit while campaigning in the city. In response to Detroiter backlash, Trump stated “Weird… that method works with every woman I’ve married.”
Elon Musk showcased walking humanoid robots during his robotaxi presentation. Took a lot of convincing, but Musk eventually agreed to have them appear minus sans tiki torch.
Allan Lichtman, the historian who correctly predicted nine of the ten most recent presidential elections, said in an interview that any October surprise that could upend the 2024 presidential race is a “myth.” However, when asked about Bigfoot, he mysteriously replied, “That’s a surprise for another month.”
Finally…
Dr. Dre is being sued by his marriage counselor for harassment and violent threats. In an attempt at an out-of-court settlement, Dre acknowledged that… "I should’ve asked ‘How does that make you feel?’ after sending those life threatening text messages.”
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
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TD- short for Toronto Dominion. An embarrassment for Canada.