Five Jokes: 11-26-2024
Drake's Legal Action, Macy's Money Problem, Zoom's Embrace Of A.I., Walmart's Pivot Away From DEI, and Starbucks' Ransomeware Attack
Pssst! — if you find daily emails annoying, you can modify your subscription experience here!
Hey! It’s Tuesday in America, and —
Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.
Y’all hear about this?..
Drake has initiated legal action against Universal Music Group and Spotify over allegations that the two companies conspired to artificially inflate the popularity of Kendrick Lamar’s “Not Like Us.” If the allegations are true,Drake will have reached a new artistic plateau as rap’s most prolific snitch.
Macy's says an employee hid as much as $154 million in expenses. To make matters worse, the employee claims “I got it at Ross."
Zoom Communications CEO Eric Yuan writes that Zoom is now an “AI-first work platform for human connection” that delivers “modern, hybrid work solutions.” Which is a fancy way of saying Big Brother Is Always Watching.
Walmart plans to cut back some of its diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives. And by some, they mean initiatives for everyone except Jerome from the California supercenter warehouse on Moreno Beach Drive. “We all love Jerome from the California supercenter warehouse on Moreno Beach Drive,” spoke Walmart CEO Doug McMillon.
Finally…
Starbucks says a ransomware attack at a third-party software supplier has forced it to tally workers’ hours and pay with pen and paper. Executives have been warned to cover their ears when walking past the talliers to avoid overhearing their whispers of, “Hey, maybe the should unionize...”
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
If you enjoyed those, check out yesterday’s jokes! And consider becoming a (free or paid) subscriber:
OR buying me a coffee:
OR subscribe to my YOU ARE THE GENRE podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or right here in the matrix of my newsletter!
And you can always share screenshots or forward this to a friend!
(this post may be too long for your email — if so, read the web version!)
A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Tarik Davis and the part of Stranger Things that’s never shown…
STRAY THOUGHT (FROM THE VAULT)
SOMETHIN’ ELSE…
This is one of my favorite editions of Uncertain Life, with inspiration from Tom Floyd’s comic Integration Is A… Bitch!
“Why are is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it all here:
Letters from African America is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider sharing…
…or becoming a free or paid subscriber!
See you tomorrow with…
Like that cartoon face in the logo? It was illustrated by DeAngelo — the talented character/prop designer/YouTuber known as “Hats Off Media!” DeAngelo is working hard an awesome new cartoon called a ScreenTime (teaser). Consider supporting it here!
