Five Jokes: 11-7-2024

Trump's Cabinet Race, Corporations vs. Universal Basic Income, German Reaction To Trump, The Man Who Lives Rent Free In A Hotel, and A Mysterious U.S. Space Plane

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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, and I’m still recovering from the fact that—

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Trump’s allies are already jockeying for high-powered spots in his administration. His decision-making process is said to be modeled after The Bachelor franchise. Which makes sense once you realize that beyond not being a bachelor, depending on how the light hits his face, he certainly is golden.

• Corporations raised $16 million to defeat Oregon’s universal basic income plan which would have given $1,600 annually to state residents, funded by a corporate tax increase. The ad campaign against it used the tried and true method of all corporations with the slogan “Hey, how about a pizza party instead?”

• A renowned German newspaper responded to Donald Trump’s electoral victory in a four letter headline: “F--k.” A striking contrast with the four letter word they would’ve published for a Harris victory: “Yass”

• A man charged with fraud for claiming to own a storied Manhattan hotel where he had been living rent-free for years has been found unfit to stand trial. But don’t be surprised if he becomes our next secretary of housing and urban development.

Finally…

• A mysterious U.S. military space plane has begun advanced maneuvers, using atmospheric drag to reduce its orbit gradually. Concerned, Florida governor Ron DeSantis demands that such plains avoid dragging during brunch hours. “Drag in the atmosphere?! The woke agenda has gone too far.”

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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