Five Jokes: 12-4-2023

Spotify Layoffs, New Rules For Pilots, Digital Concerts, Airline Mergers, & Italy vs Munich

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Spotify will lay off 17% of its global workforce. Employees were informed via hidden codes in their end of year Spotify Wrapped updates:

  • YOUR TOP SONGS WERE:

    • "I'm Sorry" by Brenda Lee

    • “You’re Fired” by Hans Zimmer and Steve Mazzaro

    • “Don't Worry Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin

• Pilots flying tourists over national parks are facing new rules, and none are stricter than at Mount Rushmore — where it’s required that they smile, wave, and blow a kiss at whichever president they find the cutest.

• On Saturday — long wait times frustrated Fortnite fans as they tried to watch a digital live event with a performance by Eminem… Meanwhile — KISS delivered an explosive final concert in New York before introducing their digital avatars as the start of a 'new era.' Makes you wonder why they cut this line out of The Matrix:

  

• Alaska Airlines has agreed to buy Hawaiian Airlines for 1.9 billion dollars. They’re calling it the “global warming” of mergers.

Finally…

• Italy refused a Munich museum’s request to return an ancient Roman statue bought by Hitler. Italian officials ended their refusal with “…Besides, its not like Hitler’s name is on it.” After which Munich museum leaders embarrassingly admitted, “Well, technically it is. Ignoring everyone telling him to use black ink, he chose pure white instead.”

  

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A JOKE(s) FROM SOMEONE ELSE OTHER PEOPLE

• A Beware of Toddler comic from Geo Gant.

  

• Hoff Matthews asks the tough questions, again!

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

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