Five Jokes: 3-28-2024
Five Jokes: 3-28-2024
ALEXANDRIA LOVE TAKEOVER! - Artifact Theft From The British Museum, A.I. Travel Itineraries, Human Skin Book Binding, All-Male International Meeting, and The High Price Of Easter Chocolate
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Hi, it’s Thursday in America, which means that your week is 90% over. Actually, that might not be accurate. I don’t know. I was never good at math because I’ve been pretty my whole life. Speaking of pretty, here are five pretty good jokes I wrote just for you! Read them and weep. XOXO, Gossip Girl.
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Y’all hear about this?..
A High Court judge ordered a former curator at the British Museum to return artifacts he allegedly swiped from the institution. Talk about taking your work home with you!The judge was quoted as saying, “How dare you steal historical artifacts that don’t belong to you! That’s the British Museum’s job!”
Google is launching a service that will let you use AI to build travel itineraries for your vacations. In response, travel agents released this statement: “We’re disheartened to know that AI is taking the jobs that nobody has asked us to do since 1994.”
Bowing to public pressure, Harvard University agreed Wednesday to remove binding made of human skin from a 19th century book held by one of its libraries. This is a major blow to one of Harvard’s most tenured educators, Professor Buffalo Bill.
China President Xi Jinping held an all-male meeting with US business leaders. That’s right, an all-male meeting, or as it’s more commonly known, “a comedy club lineup.”
Finally…
With Easter coming up, manufacturers have announced that the price of chocolate has risen to historic levels. For more information on how expensive the world’s most decedent chocolate can be, I would advise you to take me out to dinner.
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Cassidy Kulhanek hilariously and accurately explains the American feminist art movement in one minute.
STRAY THOUGHT FROM TIM
If you’re in NY and enjoyed Tim’s You Are The Genre episode with Milly Tamarez, you can see her this Saturday as Emcee of SWAN Day Sweet Sixteen event at the SVA theater (curated by wonderful supporter of , !).
Reserve your tickets for our Sweet Sixteen here!
SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!
Or… have the unlocked a superpower?!
https://twitter.com/alexfromoakland/status/1773155125336404236
“Why are these people emailing five jokes a day?” —
explains it here:
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See you tomorrow for the final day of…
Alexandria Love is a stand-up comedian, writer, and genius from Oakland, California. She is currently based in NYC. Alexandria has performed at comedy clubs all over the country from the SF Punchline to The Miami Improv. She’s been a part of numerous comedy festivals, including SF’s Comedy Day (2018), SF SketchFest (2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021), Out of Bounds in Austin, TX (2019), Silicon Valley Comic Con (2018, 2019), and South by Southwest (2019). The San Francisco Chronicle calls her a “stand-out” for the Comedy Day Celebration, and she was voted as a “Comedian to Watch” by the SFist in 2019. Citizens of Oakland, CA, might know her as the 19-time winner of the Dirty Haiku Battle at the Oakland Metro Opera House. Most recently, she has written for late-night television, having written 204 episodes of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Alexandria holds a B.A. in Modern Literature from U.C. Santa Cruz and an M.A. in Communications from the University of San Francisco.
