Five Jokes: 3-29-2024

ALEXANDRIA LOVE TAKEOVER! - The Rise Of School Absences, A Strong Arline Odor, LinkedIn's TikTok Experiment, Bad News For Daily Drinkers, and Beyoncé's New Album Release

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It’s Friday in America and this is my last day submitting jokes. I don’t want to sound too humble here, but damn, I really knocked this out of the park, man. All killer, no filler. Sizzle with a side of juicy steak. These might be the greatest jokes anyone’s ever written about anything, ever. Well, enough humility. Time for me to put a bow on this bad boy. For the last time, here are five jokes from me,

Alexandria Love

!

Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.

Y’all hear about this?..

• The New York Times has reported that school absences have exploded by almost 15% in the last four years. In unrelated news, viewership for Dragon Ball Z reruns has never been higher! Fearing their students might fall behind, teachers are encouraging them to keep up with course work by taking their guns home with them.

• Passengers on a Frontier Airlines flight were evacuated after a “strong odor” was noticed just after takeoff. Apparently they had to stop the flight after one passenger yelled, “Damn, somebody open a window in here!” 

• LinkedIn is testing a video feed similar to TikTok. When reached for comment, daily LinkedIn users said nothing because they do not exist. 

• The Washington Post has reported on a study that claims more than one drink a day raises the likelihood of heart disease in women. After doing the math, I must announce that I have sadly passed away five years ago.

Finally…

• It’s finally here! Beyonce’s debut country album Cowboy Carter was finally released. This has been the most historic day for generational Black female talent since Alexandria Love’s historic run on “Five Jokes A Day.”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

I hope you enjoyed those jokes! My name is

Alexandria Love

and you can follow me on Instagram, X, or my website!

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

I knew Roy Wood Jr. looked familiar…

https://twitter.com/roywoodjr/status/1773065474449846722

STRAY THOUGHT FROM TIM

If you’re in NY and enjoyed Tim’s You Are The Genre episode with Milly Tamarez, you can see her this Saturday as Emcee of SWAN Day Sweet Sixteen event at the SVA theater (curated by wonderful supporter of

Letters From African America

,

Jan Lisa Huttner

!).

Reserve your tickets for our Sweet Sixteen here!

SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!

Hey, it is what it is…

https://twitter.com/alexfromoakland/status/1773383485186551987

“Why are these people emailing five jokes a day?” —

Tim Barnes

explains it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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Tim will see you next week with 25 more jokes!