Five Jokes: 4-1-2024

Russian Video Game Consoles, Mayor Eric Adams' Prison Baptism, Colleges Are Slacking, Lizzo Is Retiring, and California Minimum Wage Bump

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Hey! It’s Monday in America, and I hope you all LOVED

Alexandria Love

’s hilarious jokes last week. Before we dive into THIS week of jokes, remember you can listen to the latest episode of my You Are The Genre podcast featuring actress/writer/comedian Sonia Denis — set to appear in Marvel’s Ironheart series!

→ We chat about how she navigates the choppy waters of entertainment and learned to balance her comedic pursuits with her day-to-day-life. Check out some of her standup here!:

[Paid subscribers can listen ahead to next week’s episode with actor/improviser Zach Cherry! ]

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Vladimir Putin wants Russia to create its own video game consoles. Its said to be the only console that results in prison time for anyone who uses a cheat code. He even has a working title for the first original game:

🎨: caricature art by DonkeyHotey

• NYC Mayor Eric Adams was baptized in jail by Rev. Al Sharpton on Good Friday. According to prisoners in attendance, Mayor Adams was heard shouting, “That should dispel any rumors that I’m a robot!” on his way out of the water. According to prison guards in attendance, they really wish he wore a sticker that said Hello: I Am The Mayor of New York City and Not A Prisoner.

• Colleges don't have enough time to process FAFSA information. After rumors that universities have pivoted to accepting student based on their “vibe levels,” parents are seeking to know how much “rizz” equals a 4.0 grade average.

• Lizzo has announced that she’s quitting the music industry — writing in a statement “I now fully understands the full repercussions of fame, which the demon-elf Zobelk warned me of when granting me a magical flute in exchange for twerk lessons. I have now destroyed the flute. Thus ending my time in this industry. However, the music still plays in my head.”

Finally…

• Half a million California workers will get $20 minimum wage, starting today. When asked what they’ll likely spend the extra cash on, most Californians said, "A single churro at Disnelyland.”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

If you enjoyed those, check out last week’s jokes! And consider becoming a (free or paid) subscriber:

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

One more shout out to

Alexandria Love

for writing 25 killer jokes last week while I was out! Check out her standup:

And subscribe to her Great! newsletter:

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

I had a blast on the Survivor focused Merge Boot podcast hosted by Joel Edmiston and Cody Crain!

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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