Five Jokes: 4-19-2024
‘The Tortured Poets Department,' The Kennedy's Back Biden, The First Successful A.I. Dogfight, Netflix's New Subscription Move, and The TikTok Takeover
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Hey! It’s Friday in America, and here’s your official heads-up that Mike Poole will be taking over Five Jokes next week!
Anyway, here are Five Jokes TODAY from ME!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Taylor Swift released her surprise double album ‘The Tortured Poets Department.’ Which is a relief, since most tortured poets are used to surprise layoffs.
Over a dozen Kennedy family members endorsed President Biden's reelection bid — formally turning their backs on Robert F. Kennedy Jr. It’s reported that upon hearing this news, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s wife, Cheryl Hines, instinctively started singing the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme.
The U.S. Air Force confirmed the first successful AI dogfight between an autonomously controlled aircraft and a human pilot. And just yesterday, Elon Musk accomplished something similar between himself, a glass of wine, and a robot shaped like Jessica Rabbit.
Netflix is going to stop telling the world how many subscribers it has. Which might explain why the "Are You Still Watching?” question has been updated to “I Really Don’t Care, Do U?”
Finally…
For 14 percent of American adults, TikTok is a regular news source, up from 3 percent in 2020. A clear sign that Reesa Teesa, the star of the viral TikTok sensation “Who TF Did I Marry?” should host the nightly news. I can see her now, reporting on stories like:
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Someone please show George Wallace E The Extra.
https://twitter.com/MrGeorgeWallace/status/1781212378287505681
A FEW GOOD READS:
Some newsletter highlights from some of my friends!
- has launched a newsletter titled (inspired by a point I made in our recent [TEXT MESSAGE] interview). Check out his first post: A Statement from the Artist
- took over Five Jokes a few weeks back and she has a Great! newsletter full of jokes that have the vibe of something that should be televised. Check out her latest post: Top Beefs of All Time, Ranked
- has returned with more . Check out his latest post: if the body keeps score, there needs to be a mercy rule
- has turned news-lettering into a fine art at — mixing essays, journals and jokes told to a bird who keeps showing up at her house. Check out her latest post: FOMO is fake gravity, don't let it pull you down.
- ’s is one of my favorite newsletters of all time full of wisdom, quotes, and information on writing opportunities. Check out her latest post: Contemporary, Experienced, and Upbeat
- ’s is great for people who love genre writing and comics. Check out his latest post: M.R. James and the Craft of Fear
STRAY THOUGHT
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
A list of my favorite shows from 2023!
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Thanks so much for the spooky shout-out, Tim! Have a great weekend, mate!
Great- Netflix is starting to behave like a REAL television network/film studio....