Five Jokes: 4-3-2025
A 'White Lotus' Feud, Location Tracking Confusion, A Specific Ban For U.S. Government Personnel In China, OnlyFans' Interest In TikTok, and Trump's New Neighbor
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, and I —
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Cristóbal Tapia de Veer, the acclaimed composer of HBO’s “The White Lotus,” says he won’t be back for Season 4 due to creative differences with the show’s creator. Ever the composer, Veer stated , Take notice, my White Lotus opus wasn’t allowed to flotus. Therefore, ain’t nobody thinkin’ about me, Otis.”
Parents recently lost the ability to track the locations of their children using a T-Mobile tracking device, and instead were shown the exact locations of random other children around the country. Most disappointed: the Smith family, who briefly thought their son, Jacob, was invited to party,
The U.S. government has banned American government personnel in China, as well as family members and contractors with security clearances, from any romantic or sexual relationships with Chinese citizens. In fact, government personnel are only allowed to shake hands with Chinese citizens through the fictional capability known as “the force.”
The founder of OnlyFans wants to buy TikTok — meaning soon, you’ll be twerking there for something more than just fame… you’ll be twerking for America.
Finally…
On Wednesday, the same day Mark Zuckerberg was spotted at the White House, a Meta spokesperson confirmed it to POLITICO Magazine: “Mark and Priscilla have purchased a home in D.C., which will allow Mark to spend more time there as Meta continues the work on policy issues related to American technology leadership.” It’s reported that the Zuckerberg’s invited the president over for a fresh pot of A.I. slop — this jokes sponsor. Try A.I. Slop! Meta’s new brand of food that briefly looks like soup, then looks like a vulgar sexual act, then like soup again. You’ll love it, then hate it, then love it again!
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IN OTHER NEWS…
[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]
Justice Department lawyers are struggling to defend a mountain of Trump executive orders…
Morgan Wallen is selling 'get me to God's country' merch after his abrupt 'SNL' exit…
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