Five Jokes: 5-13-2024

Northern Lights Sightings, Biden's Glitzy Fundraiser, Putin's Defense Minister Replacement, TikTok Voter Vibes, and The Last Remaining Chuck E. Cheese Animatronic Bands

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→ He tells me about growing up in a military family and moving from an Appalachian farming town to New York City and L.A. in pursuit of a life in comedy and animation. Check out this animation he did for Graeme Barrett’s ‘Divorced Dad’ series :

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Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Over the weekend, residents in several European countries and parts of the U.S. reported unusual sightings of the northern lights. Meanwhile, dozens of McDonald’s in those areas realized it was time to replace their Golden Arches bulbs to stop the weird flickering.

  

• Biden is deploying Obama, Clooney, and Julia Roberts for a glitzy L.A. fundraiser. He calls this team… The Challengers.

• Putin replaced his long-term defense minister with a civilian economist. “I never should’ve loaned him my coy of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” spoke the former defense minister. “I’ll bring you joy alright…”

• The looming TikTok ban has caused some young voters to become frustrated with President Biden. Biden has deployed Obama, Clooney, and Julia Roberts to go undercover as teens at a TikTok protest.

  *Obama voice* “Uh… I understand you have some, uh… frustrizzles with the Biden… uh… administrizzle…”

Finally…

• By the end of this year, only two Chuck E. Cheese locations will have the chain’s hallmark animatronic band. Due to the band’s age a lack of maintenance, kids at those locations have come to expect a rant or two about “inner cities” between songs.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Someone get Kenny Keil to write an X-Man…

https://twitter.com/kennykeil/status/1789145492586410407

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

Check out more of my Uncertain Life comics here!

upcoming shows

• SHORT FILM: Chemistry Test

  A few years back,Andrew Sanford told me about an odd chemistry test experience. I’d never even heard of one, which added to the strangeness. I said “hey, you should write something about that” and now it’s a short somehow starring me and co-directed by Jim Fagan that you can finally see May 31st in Brooklyn for TOOTSIE'S VIDEO VAULT at Littlefield! 7PM Doors 8PM Show (TICKETS)

  

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Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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