Five Jokes: 5-8-2025
American Sun Warnings, An OnlyFans Rival, Europe's Science Initiative, The Next 'Real Housewives' Location, and California Pest Control
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, no new pope has been elected, and —
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Millions of Americans have been warned to avoid the sun in 7 states due to high ultraviolet radiation levels. Local health officials have found that the most effective warnings involve photographs of the president with the phrase “Don’t Want To Look Like This, Do Ya?”
After selling OnlyFans, its cofounder is launching a rival creator platform. Yes, MostlyFans is a brilliant new service where 60% of your audience pays because they love you, while 40% pays because they love hate-watching you.
The European Commission has launched a new initiative to attract American researchers and scientists to the European Union. European leaders have found that the most effective invitation involves photographs of the president with the phrase“Don’t Want To Look Like This, Do Ya?”
The Real Housewives franchise is coming for America’s smallest state: Rhode Island — marking the first time that a cast of the series is… well… everybody. It’s basically a televised family reunion.
Finally…
Millions of sterile fruit flies are being released in California to reduce the number of pests leading to produce decay. This beats their original plan — releasing a variation of fruit flies that are also known as a busta, always talkin' about what they want, but just sit on their broke ass.
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Is the new platform going to be for non-porn artists, or is that all they care about?