Five Jokes: 6-17-2025
A Sabrina Carpenter Hit, Tinder Double Dates, Trump Phones, A Celebrity Pope Visit, and A Museum Strike
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Hey! It’s Tuesday in America, G7 leaders are trying to salvage their summit after Trump’s early exit, and I’m —
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Sabrina Carpenter has scored her first-ever number 1 debut single with ‘Manchild.’ However, it’s unlikely the song will be single for long. Eventually it’ll settle down and marry a nice hit song titled “Daddy Issues.”
Tinder now lets you go on double dates. And, depending on how the night goes, all four members of the party can try the app’s more experimental feature in which one of them gets voted off the island. Let’s just say it ends in a different kind of walk of shame.
The Trump Organization announced it is starting a cellular phone service called T1 Phone by Trump Mobile that will charge $47.45 a month and include unlimited calls, text and data. That’s right, America. Big Brother has entered the group chat and it doesn’t know how to stop texting in all caps.
The organization also plans to roll out a new $499 phone that will be built in the U.S. —
— most likely from a teenager in a mall kiosk who just got the parts delivered from China.
Al Pacino met with Pope Leo XIV Monday, becoming the first movie star to have an audience with the new pope. It’s hard to tell why the pope was so energized after the meeting. Cardinals are split, with 50% voting Dunkaccino and the rest betting on cocaine.
Finally…
The Louvre was brought to a halt by its own striking staff, who say the institution is crumbling under the weight of mass tourism. This was amid reports of the Mona Lisa ending her vow of silence by shouting… something through the painting. Translators in the museum claim it was “Learn the language!” but, I mean, can you ever really trust the French?
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Let’s do the time warp with Zach Schonfeld…
STRAY THOUGHT
IN OTHER NEWS…
[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]
Medicaid keeps getting more popular as Republicans aim to cut it by $800 billion…
Devo and the B-52’s have announced a joint headline tour of North America….
And… A Diddy juror who loves 90s hip-hop and reggaeton is replaced by a dad from Westchester…
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
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