Five Jokes: 6-5-2025
A Pop Quiz For Linda McMahon, A New Travel Ban, Supreme Court Rulings, Government Access To Push Notifications, and The Rise Of "Pensioner Gamers"
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, Ma 2 is in development—
—the next Wicked movie has a trailer —
— Succession creator Jesse Armstrong’s newest project is the most-watched HBO Original Film since Bad Education in 2020, and despite this—
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Education Secretary Linda McMahon avoided a direct question asking if she has learned about Ruby Bridges, a key figure in the history of American school desegregation efforts. You know, not having the answer is fine, but reacting with an impromptu “suck it” gesture is uncalled for.
Trump announced a travel ban affecting a dozen countries set to go into effect Monday. The ban would have been announced earlier in his presidency, but staffers had to make numerous corrections to his proposals, reminding him of such facts as, “BET is a network, not a nation.”
The Supreme Court is picking up the pace as it announces some of its most consequential decisions of the term before adjourning for the summer. Americans are worried they are too distracted by their summer plans, with some lawyers claiming they could hear the jingle of Mardi Gras beads beneath Clarence Thomas’ robe.
Apple provided governments around the world with data related to thousands of push notifications sent to its devices, which can identify a target’s specific device or in some cases include unencrypted content like the actual text displayed in the notification. But the shortened version of that news is Atrocious based on the novel Push by Apple.
Finally…
Companies in the East of England are preparing to welcome the first generation of “pensioner gamers” who played the first home video games in the 1970s are now at or approaching pensionable age. Progressive developers hope gaming can forge a path toward broadening the horizons of this demographic. What better way to discuss prounouns than by introducing Mr. and Mrs. Pac-Man’s successful non-binary child, Dr. Pac-Person.
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Ask Linda to explain the history of professional wrestling, and then she'll talk.