Five Jokes: 7-21-2023

Obama's Summer Lists, AMC Seats, Hackers, Church, and Hemingway!

Tim Barnes

Jul 21, 2023

Hey, happy Friday. Here are Five Jokes!

Y’all hear about this?..

President Barack Obama has released his 2023 summer reading and summer music lists. Further cementing himself to white people as more than just “well-spoken” but also “well-read” and “well-listened.”

AMC theatres have abandoned their plans to charge more for the best seats. Their new (more controversial) plan is to charge more for quality service.
China-linked hackers accessed the email of a U.S. ambassador. They were caught after responding to one with, “Per our last hack which you were CC’d on…” According to officials the hacking was “traditional espionage,” which I assume means the culprits weren’t casually dressed. This jokes is sponsored by Men’s Warehouse — “You’re Gonna Like The Way You Illegally Gain Access To Computer Systems.”

Flooded with sightseers, Europe’s iconic churches struggle to accommodate both worship and tourism. But, is this really a problem? I mean, think about it — combining worship and tourism works out pretty well when instead of “church” you call it “Comic-Con.”

The annual Hemingway Look-Alike Contest began in Florida Keys. However, one look at this photo from the event proves otherwise. Clearly, the “Hemingway” theme is a clever cover-up what’s actually The Annual Convention of Santa’s From Alternate Dimensions.

(Andy Newman/Florida Keys News Bureau via AP)

If you enjoyed those Five Jokes, check out the jokes from yesterday! Also, you can follow me on Twitter (timbarnes451), Bluesky (timbarnes.bsky.social), and Threads (timbarnescomedy)!