Five Jokes: 7-3-2025
U.S. Fly Breeding, A. Lawsuit Against Guy Fieri, Space Discoveries, Illegal Cucumbers, and Transcription Glasses
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, AMC now warns moviegoers to expect ‘25-30 minutes’ of ads and trailers, and speaking of ads, if you’re in New York tonight, swing by RAD COMEDY, the standup showcase I co-host with Emily Wirth in Brooklyn —
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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The U.S. government is breeding flies to fight flesh-eating maggots. So, these days, getting yourself a “nice government job” sounds more like “becoming an orc henchman for the evil wizard Saruman in The Lord of the Rings.”
Guy Fieri's Chicken Guy! restaurant is being sued by a winner of his game show. Damn, it be your own flock sometimes.
NASA has discovered “compelling evidence” of a planet that is potentially habitable. A little advice to any lifeforms there, if you see us constructing a Starbucks, run.
Federal prosecutors made an arrest in Georgia of men charged with trying to ship 700 pounds of meth inside a tractor-trailer packed with cucumbers. Ingredients that would literally make… quite the pickle.
Finally…
A product called TranscribeGlass can subtitle conversations in nearly real time and will soon be able to translate languages and tell you when the person you’re talking to you is feeling socially awkward. But what’s more socially awkward than correcting the spelling of a word someone said out loud?
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Ahamed Weinberg explains the politics of his name…
STRAY THOUGHT
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