Five Jokes: 7-4-2024

Saving Spotted Owls, U.S. Avocado Reliance, Chet Hanks' "White Boy Summer" Backfires, Netflix Co-Founder vs POTUS, and Russian TV Habits

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Hey! It’s Thursday, July 4th in America, or as Black people have always called it: Sure Seems Nice… Day.

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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• To save spotted owls, officials plan to kill a half-million of another owl species. Despite this, Hogwarts has refused to pivot to email.

• A temporary halt in avocado inspections shows how reliant the U.S. has become on Mexico for the fruit — despite most U.S. citizens believing the “healthy green stuff” on their toast is a vegetable.

• Chet Hanks, son of Tom Hanks, is speaking out after a viral catchphrase he coined called “White Boy Summer” has been adopted by extremist groups. “Meesa can’t believe racist whites colonized my artistic reinterpretation of Megan Thee Stallion’s original and much more popular phrase,” said the actor/rapper/YouTuber/film actor.

• Netflix’s co-founder Reed Hastings is publicly advocating POTUS walk away. Or that he at least press “yes” to the prompt “Are You Still Alive?” every few hours or so.

Finally…

• Russians can’t stop watching bleak, nihilistic shows. Many U.S. television executives were caught by surprise, saying, “I didn’t realize ‘Wheel of Fortune’ aired out there.”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Josh Johnson’s full hilarious presidential debate breakdown…

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

Check out on of my Uncertain Life comics!

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Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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