Five Jokes: 9-16-2024
DILLON STEVENSON TAKEOVER! - FDA Approved Airpods, Tump's Second Assassination Attempt, Gillian Anderson's Book On Female Pleasure, Brooklyn Cops, Shōgun's Big Emmys Win
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In This Newsletter:
An Update From Tim
Five Jokes From Dillon Stevenson!
Hey! It’s Monday in America, and my friend is taking over this week with his own unique spin on these Five Jokes updates! Doing so frees up time for me to polish some of the other features of the newsletter that you know and love while also giving you a glimpse into the brilliance of some of the funniest people I know.
Now, — take it away! Oh, and if you like his jokes this week, consider leaving him a tip!
It’s Monday in America, I’m , and here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
The FDA has approved some Apple AirPods to be used as hearing aids — which is VERY convenient for the generation of Apple customers who have permanently damaged their ears with those same AirPods.
The FBI investigates a second Trump assassination attempt. In the event Trump reaches 6 unsuccessful assassination attempts, he will receive a free government insurrection.
Gillian Anderson has written a book about female pleasure. When asked for comment former X-Files co-Star David Duchovny winked excessively and said “The truth is out there…”
Brooklyn cops shot an alleged fare-beater, hitting 2 bystanders and an officer in the process — officially debuting the NYPD’s new slogan: “If you see something, spray everything!”
Finally…
FX’s “Shōgun” and “The Bear” broke awards records at the Emmys. Feeling they’ve conquered the Emmys, Shōgun's creators have set their sights on dominating the BET Awards and unveiled season 2’s focus: The Shōgun's of Harlem - Sho’nuff.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
If you click play, you’ll see a great joke from Mike Brown but next time you have a spare two hours — watch the full thing!
STRAY THOUGHT FROM TIM
SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!
This week I hope to be dropping the first installments of Digital Damage District Wrestling! A love letter to pro-wrestling & video games. There’s a trailer and other details on the website for now. And I’ll update you this week!
Thanks for having me Tim and Tim’s subscribers.
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Dillon Stevenson is a comedian and writer based out of NYC, and is the one "Dillon" anyone ever REALLY needs in their life. As the One Dillon, he's landed writing jobs at Wyatt Cenac's Problem Areas (HBO), and The Big Fib (Disney+) and co-created Super Video Bros, a comedy party dedicated to celebrating music videos as an art form. Much like his favorite superhero, the Silver Surfer, Dillon's passion is finding the best places to eat.
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I'll have to check my reference books to see how many Emmys the original production of Shogun won in the '80s- because I think the remake has it beat....