Five Jokes: 1-29-2024

Chipotle 'Burrito Season,' A.I. Executives, Trump/Haley Donor Pitches, Fight For The 'Black Vote,' and The IRS' Billion Paper Problem

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Hey! It’s Monday in America, and writer

mike sacks

joins me in the latest episode of You Are The Genre!

(But paid subscribers can listen ahead to next week’s episode with Saturday Night Live writer Steven Castillo!)

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Chipotle wants to hire 19,000 workers for what it calls 'burrito season.' Which is actually Chipotle speak for ‘The End Times.’ Burritos now either come in bowls or wraptures.

• The New York Times reports that the hottest job in corporate America right now is “The Executive in Charge of A.I.” Companies have issued statements about the position insisting that they aren’t robot racists or anything, but just… you know… need someone to make sure the algorithms stay away from their daughters and don’t hang out long enough to start making any of that loud music of theirs.

• Representatives from the Donald Trump and Nikki Haley campaigns are expected to make their pitches to a network of Republican megadonors. The key difference is that Haley’s pitch starts with “In a world…” and Trump’s starts with “In a cheeseburger…”

• Republicans see an opportunity with Black voters, prompting mobilization in Biden campaign. Which explains reports of saxophone lessons from Bill Clinton in the Oval Office. “Notice how I blew into it. I did not inhale.”

Finally…

• As tax season begins, the IRS faces the monumental task of digitizing a billion pieces of paper. To speed things up, they’re hiring an “Executive In Charge Of The Scanner.”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE(s) FROM SOMEONE ELSE OTHER PEOPLE

• An important question from

  Josh Gondelman
  .

  https://twitter.com/joshgondelman/status/1751796853975212045

  

• I thoroughly enjoyed this Twilight Zone sketch from The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

Over at Alternate Timeline(my alternate newsletter) I send updates Called Sci-Fi Fuel filled with news and ideas to spark your imagination. Check out issue #14 here!

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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