Five Jokes: 1-8-2024

First U.S. Moon Landing In 50 Years, Jo Koy's Tough Time At The Golden Globes, Jonathan Majors Speaks Out, Happy Birthday Kim Jong Un?, and The Pope's War Against Surrogacy

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Hey! It’s Monday in America, and I’ve just released the trailer for my new podcast about genre:

[This Trailer] Is The Genre

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• The first U.S. lunar lander in more than 50 years has rocketed toward moon with commercial deliveries. And it’ll be another 50 years if the moon people don’t leave a good tip this time. “I don’t care if I forgot the fries. Do you know how much gas it took to get here?!”

• Golden Globes host Jo Koy opened the show to mixed response. Some thought he was hilarious while others thought “Hey, Ricky Gervais looks a little different…”

• Jonathan Majors spoke out for 1st time after his conviction in an ABC interview. And given his choice of suit, it’s clear that his team hasn’t given him the memo on a few things:

  

• Though his actually birthday has never been revealed, North Korea’s Kim Jong Un is believed to be turning 40 since the U.S. government lists his birth year as 1984. “We won’t know for sure until we see what gifts he receives,” said one U.S. government official. "“If it’s gift cards, he may still be in his 30s. But if it’s foot cream… well, the sky’s the limit.”

Finally…

• The Pope has called for a universal ban on surrogacy — but stopped himself before shouting “I mean, what’s next?! Virgin births?”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

If you enjoyed those, check out last week’s jokes! And consider becoming a paid subscriber OR just buying me a coffee:

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A JOKE(s) FROM SOMEONE ELSE OTHER PEOPLE

Cullen Crawford brought the facts

https://twitter.com/HelloCullen/status/1743344039238435304

This bit from the Golden Globes cracked me up:

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

I released a new sci-fi short story over at

Alternate Timeline

(my alternate newsletter) called Method!

And, as a reminder, check out the trailer for my new podcast!

Paid subscribers can listen ahead to the first episode with Eliza Cossio!

UPCOMING SHOWS!

• “SpeakEasy” — January 17, 7:00PM @ Caveat NYC (TICKETS)

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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See you tomorrow with…

Like that cartoon face in the logo? It was illustrated by DeAngelo — the talented character/prop designer/YouTuber known as “Hats Off Media!” DeAngelo is working hard an an awesome new cartoon called ScreenTime (teaser). Consider supporting it here!

Still here? Well, did you know that the private company behind this trip to the moon is bringing human remains? Read about it here. The more you know…