Five Jokes: 1-9-2025
Delayed Hollywood Awards, The Future Of Wearable Tech, Retired Girl Scouts Flavors, Jimmy Carter Funeral Guests, and Mexico’s President Claps Back
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, and, hey…
With Hollywood burning it’s probably a bad time for me to pitch —
— so, instead, here is info on how to help victims of the horrifying wildfires and if you live in Southern California, here are steps you can take to stay safe and where to find shelters…
Now, if you’re up for it, here are FIVE JOKES!
Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.
Y’all hear about this?..
The AARP Movies For Grownups Awards have been postponed due to the L.A. wildfires — and not at all due to everyone involved getting far too invested in an old episode of Judge Judy.
The latest crop of AI-enabled wearables constantly listen to you through embedded microphones to help organize your life. One downside: Every few seconds your smart will ask out loud, “And how does that make you feel?”
Girl Scouts are retiring two cookie flavors. Unfortunately, one of them is the “red cookie” — meaning there’s no affordable means of escaping the Matrix.
All 5 living presidents attended Jimmy Carter's National Cathedral funeral. Sorry, one moment… unlike Facebook, has an actual internal fact checking system… Okay, yes, I see… Thank you. Let’s start again. While all 5 living presidents attended Jimmy Carter's National Cathedral funeral — none of them are technically alive inside.
Finally…
Poking fun at Donald Trump, Mexican president Claudia Sheinbaum proposed that North America be renamed "América Mexicana," or "Mexican America." Trump is currently enduring a cluster headache as he attempts tweeting a nickname for the Jewish female Mexican leader that’s juuuust racist and sexist enough- to avoid making the United Nations spontaneously combust.
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
If you enjoyed those, check out yesterday’s jokes! OR buy me a coffee:
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
L.A. fire reporting from Skyler Higley…
STRAY THOUGHT
IN OTHER NEWS…
[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]
60 years after assassination of Malcolm X, a lawsuit aims to uncover the truth.
Customers are split after Chick-fil-A announced a new waffle fries recipe.
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
Speaking of TikTok and various America’s here’s that time I explained the origin if my first true joke (and the namesake of this newsletter) to —
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“Why are is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it all here:
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See you tomorrow with…
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