Five Jokes: 10-13-2023
Jeff Bezos Purchases His Neighbor's Home, NHL Bans Pride Tape, A Ring Of Fire Hits The Sky, A New BTS Is In The Works, & Best Buy No Longer Sells DVDs
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Jeff Bezos purchased his Florida neighbor’s mansion for $79 million. He told the family, “…but can stay here as long as you package 2,000 boxes a day without pee breaks.”
The NHL has banned the use of Pride Tape.
Now players who want rainbows on their hockey sticks are calling it ‘Emergency Broadcast System Tape’ instead.
A “ring of fire” solar eclipse is traveling across the sky this weekend. And since the eclipse starts in Mexico and then crosses over to the United States, MAGA supporters have started shouting “Build the Space Wall!”
Bang Si-Hyuk, the K-Pop mogul behind BTS, says he’s building the next BTS. Surprisingly, his most difficult task is finding a name for the group that doesn’t already belong to a TV station.
“Coming to the stage… TNT!.. With their new hit single ‘We Know Drama!”
Finally…
Best Buy is ending DVD and Blu-ray disc sales. Employees are now filling the racks with their résumés.
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BONUS JOKE ROUNDUP:
Since I didn’t post any jokes on Monday, I added two bonus jokes for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Here are the top 3 bonus jokes from those days! Read ‘em and then vote below on which one you like the most so that it can be added to tomorrow’s ‘Best of the Week’ roundup!
Puerto Rico is adding “USA” to the top of its driver’s licenses, after high-profile cases of people being told their identification isn’t proof of American citizenship. However, some Puerto Ricans are angry that the addition of “USA” was chosen instead of the original, more passive aggressive pitch: “Please Read A Book.”
President Biden looks to ban 'junk fees.' However, his remarks began to confuse people as he went on to say “…everyone is equal, regardless of how much junk they carry in their trunks. No one should be fined for shaking what they momma gave ‘em.”
The IRS says Microsoft may owe more than $29 billion in back taxes. In response, Clippy said:
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“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:
A JOKE(s) FROM SOMEONE ELSE OTHER PEOPLE
Josh Gondelman is a true enigma in that he’s immensely funny and kind at the same time.
https://twitter.com/joshgondelman/status/1712818630868529552
For instance — who else can have a mean comment end like this?
I started doing comedy around the same time as Rebecca O’Neal, and I’m incredibly jealous that she has a Wikipedia page. A lot of comedians talk about depression these days, but no one does it quite like her:
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
You can find more Uncertain Life comics here in the Letters from African America archive.
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See you next week with 25 more jokes!
