Five Jokes: 10-14-2024

Robovac Hackers, Interspecies Texts, 7-Eleven Closures, Tim Walz Manly Appearances, and Campaign Staffer Feuds

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Hey! It’s Monday and Indigenous Peoples' Day here in America! And apologies for the slight delay in this edition of Five Jokes!

Before we get to them — you should know that there’s an all new episode of my You Are The Genre podcast with the hilarious Hoff Matthews!

Anyway, here are Five Jokes in all of their email glory!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• The Verge reports: Hackers took over robovacs to chase pets and yell slurs. One hacker, however, would like to contest this — stating, “I take over robovacs for the ladies.”

• Cells from different species can exchange ‘text messages’ using RNA molecules. Unsurprisingly, all animal molecules deliver the exact same 🙄 emoji to humans.

• 7-Eleven will close over 400 locations in North America. Officially making the few that remain “inconvenient stores.”

• During recent appearances aimed at men, Tim Walz returned to Minnesota to hunt pheasants and watch a high-school football — but the question remains: Did he have to do it dressed as Joker?

Finally…

• The relationship between Kamala Harris’ campaign team and the Biden White House has reportedly degraded with less than a month to go before the presidential election. Both teams will be in for a surprise post-election when Biden and Harris remove their masks and point at cameras, revealing their staffers have been taped in the most complex and high stakes episode of Undercover Boss.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Hoff Matthews

— keepin’ ‘em honest…

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

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• OCTOBER 15, 9pmET, Manhattan - I’ll be a part of this show hosted by Hoff Matthews at Caveat NYC!(INFO HERE)

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Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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