Five Jokes: 10-17-2023
John Legend Competes With Yelp, LinkedIn Cuts Jobs, The Hottest Pepper Is Really Hot, ATM Fees Are Skyrocketing, and Chatbots Know All Your Secrets
Pssst! — if you find daily emails annoying, you can modify your subscription experience here!
Hey! It’s Tuesday — and a ‘dimple maker’ trend is taking over TikTok — but maybe a few can emerge by laughing at these Five Jokes instead!
Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.
Y’all hear about this?..
John Legend is starting an app for food and travel recommendations where only positive reviews are allowed. His working title for the app is North Korea+.
LinkedIn is cutting 668 jobs. The company blames a bizarre new trend among the unemployed where they print out their work history, enter a physical space, and forge genuine human connections.
“I was feeling the heat for three-and-a-half hours. Then the cramps came… Those cramps are horrible. I was laid out flat on a marble wall for approximately an hour in the rain, groaning in pain.”
In other news: The Surgeon General has found a new scary warning for cigarette cases.
Of course, if Ed were to leave his review on John Legend’s app — it’d be shortened down to “I was feeling the heat!
for three-and-a-half hours. Then the cramps came… Those cramps are horrible. I was laid out flat on a marble wall for approximately an hour in the rain, groaning in pain.”
ATM fees are higher than ever despite President Biden’s 'junk' fee crackdown. “Hey, you try having strangers shove cards in your mouth all day for minimum wage!” spoke Otto Teller — leader of ATM union. But based on Biden’s immediate smirk, there’s concern that he doesn’t see the downside.
Finally…
AI chatbots can guess your personal information from what you type. This is embarrassing — based on all of the jokes I’ve written so far, the chatbots have calculated that I’m “An Out Of Work Comedy Writer Who Needs A Haircut.” Brutal.
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
If you enjoyed those, check out yesterday’s jokes! And consider becoming a paid subscriber:
Remember, you can always forward these emails to a friend!
(this post may be too long for your email — if so, read the web version!)
If you’re looking for ways to help striking actors, consider donating to the Entertainment Community Fund.
“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:
A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE!
Joe Pera has a great new special called Joe Pera: Slow & Steady. So, yeah, its more than just “a joke” but you can pause between each one for a day to savor it.
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
Check out the latest issue of Sci-Fi Fuel from my Alternate Timeline newsletter.
Letters from African America is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider sharing…
…or becoming a free or paid subscriber!
See you tomorrow with…
