Five Jokes: 11-1-2023
Five Jokes: 11-1-2023
Mission Impossible's Influence On Biden, Dozens Of Birds Get Name Changes, Mitt Romney's Halloween Costume, The Supreme Court Debates Whether Officials Can Block Constituents Online, and More!
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Y’all hear about this?..
According to Deputy White House chief of staff Bruce Reed — President Biden grew more worried about AI after watching Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning. He confirmed that movies have influenced many of the president’s decisions — citing the time Biden watched When Harry Met Sally and couldn’t stop saying “I’ll have what she’s having,” instead of ”gazuntite.”
Dozens of American birds will get name changes, cutting ties with some troubling historic figures including confederate leaders. Those mourning the old names are appropriately playing Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird” near their closest trees.
Yesterday, Mitt Romney and his wife Ann dressed as Taylor Swift & Travis Kelce. When told, “Hey! Great Halloween costumes!” The Romney’s, “Oh… yeah! Sure… This is for Halloween! Heh…”
The Supreme Court heard arguments about whether elected officials’ social media accounts are allowed to block their constituents. Things got heated as they debated whether the official Denny’s Diner Twitter handle counts as a person. Court clerks reported overhearing one justice scream “I’ve had it over my hammy with you and your crap!”
Finally…
Speaker Mike Johnson has never listed a bank account on his financial disclosure — and until now, those closest to him have never noticed how massive his pants are.
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