Five Jokes: 11-1-2024

Trump's Childhood Home, Elon Musk's Potential Denaturalization, Parallell E.T. Thinking, Wendy's Store Closures, and A Mysterious Kanye Doc

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Hey! It’s Friday in America, and this email comes to you after a slight delay due to a malfunction in my E.T. costume from last night. In hindsight, I really should have installed zippers.

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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• Donald Trump’s childhood home, which has sat vacant for years, now has a new inhabitant: a horde of feral cats. Upon learning this, Trump insisted that animal control “Gram ‘em by the… well… huh…”

• Elon Musk appears to have worked in the US without authorization and according to experts, if he did so and lied about it as part of the immigration process, he could be denaturalized. The issue reveals what has clearly been his plan all along with the SpaceX program: becoming the first legal citizen of a floating Tesla in space.

• Heidi Klum and Janelle Monáe opted for out-of-this-world Halloween costumes this year — both choosing to dress as the stubby alien E.T. for their parties on opposite coasts. And, for the record, you’re racist if you think they both look alike.

  

• Wendy's will close 140 more low performing restaurants by end of the year. Statistics show customers are okay with cutting of all corners except for those around the patties.

Finally…

• A mystery-shrouded documentary about Kanye West has surfaced that apparently has a billion dollar budget. Which certainly explains the title, Who Gave North West My Credit Card?

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

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