Five Jokes: 11-11-2024

Cloned Sheep, Mattel's Porn Problem, Harris' Recount Effort, Hopeful Sticky Notes, and The Ongoing Race For The House

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Hey! It’s Monday in America, and doesn’t it feel like —

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• After a Montana man illegally cloned and bred an endangered giant sheep species, government agencies must now contend with the illicit offspring. Confused by the ends and outs of cloning, one agency have released Maury Povitch into the wild to reveal which sheep are their own fathers.

• Mattel accidentally linked a porn site on Wicked doll packaging — putting an alarming new spin on the classic phrase, “Something wicked this way comes.”

• Donations to Kamala Harris' presidential campaign are now being partially redirected towards a vote recount effort. The Harris/Walz team assures democrats that the effort will be handled fairly, thanks to Liz Cheney, who has agreed to count them by hand.

• A wall in the 14th street subway station in New York is covered with encouraging messages scribbled on sticky notes, started on Election Day. Well, mostly encouraging, one sticky note writes:

  

Finally…

• Control of the House is still too close to call, according to the Associated Press — but all signs point toward Big Mama. =)

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

A Bernie Sanders scoop from Hoff Matthews!

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

What a week we’ve been through, eh? I wasn’t able to edit this week’s You Are The Genre episode in time for its mass release on every podcast app, but my raw interview with political speech writer + comedy writer Chandler Dean is now available for ALL subscribers (free or paid) to listen to right here in my newsletter!

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Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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