Five Jokes: 11-13-2023
New IRS Tax Brackets, Heinz Claims Ketchup Is Good For Runners, NYC Mayor Adams’ Seized Electronics, Pet Psychics, and The Race For A Universal Translator
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Y’all hear about this?..
The IRS announced new tax brackets for 2024. There are three major sections — The highest being What Trump Says He’s Worth, the middle being What Trump Is Actually Worth — and the lowest being How Loved He Is By His Children.
Heinz says ketchup can be a good energy source for runners. Sorry to be blunt, but y’all know you just tomatoes right?!
The FBI seized electronic devices from New York City Mayor Eric Adams in escalation of campaign fundraising investigation. According to an investigator, the devices will “…help determine whether the Turkish government got games on his phone.”
According to The Wall Street Journal — pet psychics are making their way from the fringe to socially acceptable. One psychic even touts her ability to find love connections with her slogan “Call me now for your free breeding.”
Finally…
A German startup is racing Google to develop a universal translator. It all comes down to who can find the universal translation for “rizz” the quickest. Which is difficult, because clearly the answer lies solely with me.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE!
https://x.com/ptaktestkitchen/status/1723811265422786604
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
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