Five Jokes: 11-14-2024
The Republican Trifecta, Denzel Washington's Gay Kiss, The Film Industry Ditching Los Angeles, Advances In Quantum Physics, and The Decreased Value Of Gold
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Republicans have officially won a full trifecta of power in Washington, D.C. with the presidency, a narrow majority in the House, and a three-seat majority in the Senate. But don’t worry. The only way they could get more would be if some dude name Sauron rolled up and said, “Hey, wants some rings?”
Denzel Washington says a gay kiss was cut from ‘Gladiator II, stating, “I kissed a guy full on the lips and I guess they weren’t ready for that yet.” Suddenly lacking visual proof, the recipient of that kiss now has a crazy story none of his buddies will believe.
The film industry is ditching Los Angeles for up-and-coming entertainment hubs like Atlanta. To keep up with the competition, Governor Gavin Newsom has announced a state funded Freaknik at the Hollywood Bowl.
A research team in China has held atoms in a state of quantum superposition for 23 minutes, suggesting tantalizing new possibilities in research and quantum computing — and yet another thing you’re incapable of doing in the bedroom.
Finally…
Gold fell more than 4% in the four days since Election Day. This comes after numerous reports of Midas touching without consent.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
A reminder of the genius of Dwayne Kennedy…
Also, wow, this is real!
STRAY THOUGHT
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
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See you tomorrow with…
The studios first set up shop in L.A. in the early 20th century because the area had cheap land and they could afford to give workers low salaries. Will they get that in Atlanta now?