Five Jokes: 11-8-2024
Biden's Pledge, Striking New York Times Tech Workers, Racist Post-Election Texts, Post-Election Google Searches, and Trump's White House Chief Of Staff Pick
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Hey! It’s Friday in America, and here are Five Jokes!
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Biden pledged a peaceful and orderly transfer of power, and urged Democrats not to give up. The president followed that sentiment with, “You know, sorta how I didn’t give up the idea of running for a second term until it was too late.”
New York Times tech workers are making their own games while on strike. So, if you’re looking for a safe way to eat the rich, there’s a hot new immersive game you can play through a VR headset on the picket line.
Black college and high school students report receiving racist texts about being "selected to pick cotton at the nearest plantation." Elon Musk hasn’t pinpointed who leaked those plans for his latest app, SlaveryX, but he’s pretty sure its the the guy on his seem who looks sorta Black.
Google searches for “move to Canada” spiked 1,270 percent in the 24 hours after East Coast polls closed Tuesday, while similar queries about moving to New Zealand jumped almost 2,000 percent and those for Australia increased 820 percent. However, the smartest searches spiked at lower percentages, with questions like: How to break into Mark Zuckerberg’s top secret Hawaiian compound… and If I say “Beetlejuice” three times, will he really take me to the underworld?..
Finally…
Donald Trump named his campaign manager Susie Wiles as his next White House chief of staff. Trump is thrilled, describing her as “Paula Deen dipped into a vat of Hillary Clinton. Isn’t she white, ladies and gentlemen? We love a white lady every now and then, don’t we? Her name could be Karen for all I know, folks. She’s a fine woman on both sides, if you know what I mean. Come on, let’s play some tunes!!”
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
A valid point from Langston Kerman…
https://x.com/LangstonKerman/status/1854580077519876112
— who also makes a hilarious appearance in last night’s Abbot Elementary!
STRAY THOUGHT
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
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