Five Jokes: 12-13-2023

Goodreeds Drama, The Pope's Chosen Burial Site, Netflix Viewership Data, Drunk-Driver Detection Technology, and A Major Tesla Recall

Pssst! — if you find daily emails annoying, you can modify your subscription experience here!

Hey! It’s Wednesday, and these are Five Jokes!

Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.

Y’all hear about this?..

• A first time author lost her book deal for using numerous fake accounts to ‘review bomb’ writers on Goodreads. While the writers are pleased by these results, they’re also surprisingly invested in the intricate lives of the fake accounts. “Sure, we want you to delete those awful, biased, jealous reviews but please tell us more about the harrowing life of BookLover6969! It seems like her and BookMarkyMark have a thing.”

• The pope says he wants to be buried in the Rome basilica, not in the Vatican. Taking matters in his own hands, he’s already programmed the popemobile to do just that when the time comes.

• Netflix shared its most comprehensive report on viewership data. And with these numbers we can finally settle the beef between The Crown and Floor Is Lava before things get too out of hand.

• U.S. regulators want cars to include drunk-driver detection technology. They’re calling the tech S.C.I.T.B.S. — “Screaming Children In The Back Seat.”

Finally…

• Tesla is recalling nearly all vehicles sold in the U.S. to fix a system that monitors drivers using autopilot. The manufacturer cites a bizarre glitch that auto-drives people toward the Rome basilica to bury them instead.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

If you enjoyed those, check out yesterday’s jokes! And consider becoming a paid subscriber OR just buying me a coffee:

Remember, you can always share screenshots or forward these emails to a friend!

(this post may be too long for your email — if so, read the web version!)

REST WELL, ANDRE BRAUGHER

I can’t pretend that I’m the type of fan who knows many of the touchstones of his career, but Andre Braugher was one of the rare actors who (regardless of genre) brought a level of realism to his roles that most actors struggle to attain and project. Braugher was his characters. And through them he made countless TV, film, and theatre viewers laugh, cry, and feel whatever the scene required in a manner that made it impossible to imagine who else could have played the part. To do such a thing with his level of consistency seems like the hallmark of a truly caring, empathetic individual. And it is because of those traits that he will be so dearly missed.

A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Wait, is this good “gag” or bad “gag”?

https://x.com/ianabramson/status/1732226621891825841

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

Read more Uncertain Life comics here!

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

Letters from African America is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider sharing…

…or becoming a free or paid subscriber!

See you tomorrow with…

Like that cartoon face in the logo? It was illustrated by DeAngelo — the talented character/prop designer/YouTuber known as “Hats Off Media!” DeAngelo is working hard an an awesome new cartoon called ScreenTime (teaser). Consider supporting it here!