Five Jokes: 12-16-2024
Drone Mystery, Super-Supermarket Merger Dissolves, Amtrak Increase, Brussel’s Sprout Growth Spurt, and Bernie Sanders vs Amazon
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Federal officials still don't know much as drone sightings spread across the East Coast. Federal officials have also declined to comment on why they’ve been carrying controllers for weeks.
The biggest supermarket merger in US history is dead. Both parties blame the other for forging the expiration date, resulting in the biggest coupon settlement in U.S. history.
More Americans rode Amtrak trains than ever in 2024. 50% of the riders blame automobile prices, while the remaining 50% simply miss the peace of reaching a destination without seeing a cybertruck on the road.
Farmers are forecasting Brussels sprouts will be 25% bigger this year. They’re also warning that these “Brussels sprouts” may look, smell, and taste like piglets.
Finally…
A report by the Bernie Sanders-led Senate labor committee revealed that Amazon disregarded warnings about warehouse injury rates. If things go according to plan, the smile on your next packages will be replaced with a picture of the employee who packaged it in the hospital.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Martin Urbano would like to apologize…
STRAY THOUGHT (FROM THE VAULT)
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