Five Jokes: 12-4-2024

South Korea's Martial Law Moment, Why Billboard Chose Beyonce As Pop Star Of The Century, A Cattle-Eating Parasite, French Government Turmoil, and The Potential Sell Of "Hot Ones"

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• South Korea spent six hours under surprise martial law — meaning President Yoon Suk Yeol did the authoritarian version of “Yeah, I experimented in college.”

• Billboard has explained why it picked Beyonce over Taylor Swift as the greatest pop star of the 21^st century, saying it was based on the singer's "full 25 years of influence, evolution and impact." Zeroing in on the “evolution” aspect of their determination, Taylor Swift has started talks with the makers of Pokémon to design her next phase as T-SwiftlyPuff.

• A parasite that eats cattle alive is creeping north toward the US — just in time for RFK Jr.’s new initiative titled “Parasites Burgers Ain’t So Bad."

• President Emmanuel Macron is asking French lawmakers to reject a vote that would topple the government. But seeing as he likely said so in French, there’s no way lawmakers took it the right way.

Finally…

• BuzzFeed may have to sell assets, like its interview show “Hot Ones.” Hey, C-SPAN — if you’ve got the budget, go for it. Can’t think of a better way to get citizens engaged than Sean Evans asking newly reelected Senate Democratic leader Chuck Schumer “So, is democracy ready for its last dab?”

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