Five Jokes: 12-8-2023

Long Lost Space Tomato, A Police Yoga Instructor's Prison Sentence, Vladimir Putin 2024 Russian Presidential Run, Millennial Financial Advice, & The Challenge Of ‘Squid Game’

Pssst! — if you find daily emails annoying, you can modify your subscription experience here!

Hey! It’s Friday, and these are Five Jokes!

Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.

Y’all hear about this?..

• The mystery of a tomato that went missing in space for months has been solved. After falling through a wormhole, it’s apparently how we got these:

  

• A former police chief turned yoga teacher was sentenced to 11 years over attending the Jan. 6 riot. If you’re wondering if he pivoted to yoga before or after the insurrection, trust me — no order of events makes him any easier to understand. But perhaps he found some twisted wisdom through it all, saying mantras like “To bend the law is to bend yourself” and “There’s a thin blue line between poopoo and peepee.”

• Vladimir Putin is seeking another term as Russian President after a 2020 constitutional amendment effectively allows him to stay in power until 2036. So, it’s kinda like someone asking “Are you gonna eat that?” while pointing at the last slice of pizza that’s already in their mouth.

• Millennials and Gen Z are turning to peers instead of professionals for financial advice. Unfortunately…

  

Finally…

• The winner of Squid Game: The Challenge says they are still yet to receive their $4.56 million prize despite the show ending in February. Turns out explaining to friends and family why you’re taking the bus to work after winning a Netflix game show is the biggest challenge of them all.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

If you enjoyed those, check out yesterday’s jokes! And consider becoming a paid subscriber OR just buying me a coffee:

Remember, you can always share screenshots or forward these emails to a friend!

(this post may be too long for your email — if so, read the web version!)

A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

https://x.com/gianmarcosoresi/status/1732989656059294012

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

Find more Uncertain Life comics here!

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

Letters from African America is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider sharing…

…or becoming a free or paid subscriber!

See you next week with 25 more jokes!

Like that cartoon face in the logo? It was illustrated by DeAngelo — the talented character/prop designer/YouTuber known as “Hats Off Media!” DeAngelo is working hard an an awesome new cartoon called ScreenTime (teaser). Consider supporting it here!