Five Jokes: 2-14-2025

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Confirmed, TikTok's Return To U.S. Stores, Roku Revenue, Selena Gomez/Benny Blanco Collab, and A Duolingo Death

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Hey! It’s Friday in America, don’t forget to listen to the greatest Valentine’s Day song of all time —

— and while you’re at it, here are FIVE JOKES!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• The Senate confirmed Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as health secretary. So, look forward to school milk cartons coming with a manifesto about fluoride in the “nutritional facts” section.

• Apple and Google have restored TikTok to their app stores in the U.S. — but if you catch your husband rejoicing about it, you’ve got newer problems to worry about.

• Roku crossed the $1 billion threshold in platform revenue. Unsurprisingly, none of that money is going toward fixing Roku City’s crumbling infrastructure.

  

  Wait, actually can we zoom in there?… Yeah, that appears to be a Roku Bernie Sanders giving a speech about it.

  

• Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco are set to release their first project as a couple with a collaborative album titled “I Said I Love You First.” The title suggests that the collab will start with romantic banter and escalate into a 20 minute argument over instrumentals and a few confused “yeah, yeah, yeah”s… from backup singers.

Finally…

• Duolingo announced the death of its mascot, Duo the Owl. To stay in line with new anti-DEI government mandates, Duo is being be replaced with the new English-only mascot: Whitey the Eagle.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

If you enjoyed those, check out yesterday’s jokes! OR:

OR subscribe to my YOU ARE THE GENRE podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or right here in the matrix of my newsletter!

🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Josh Johnson with the ultimate AI explainer…

And Hoff Matthews has a haunting presence…

STRAY THOUGHT

IN OTHER NEWS…

[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]

• Federal workers say they increasingly distrust platforms like Facebook…

• A ‘true crime’ documentary series has millions of views despite all of the murders being AI-generated…

• Scarlett Johansson is calling on the government to pass a law limiting the use of AI after a video featuring an AI deepfake of the actress circulated online…

• And… The White House says it has the right to punish AP reporters over Gulf naming dispute.

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

In addition to my recent fun convo with award-winning storyteller Shannon Cason —

— paid subscribers have access to two ADVANCED episodes of You Are The Genre! One, with The Interview Show host, Mark Bazer —

[Mark Bazer] Is The Genre

— and the other with award-winning sci-fi novelist Micaiah Johnson!

[Micaiah Johnson] Is The Genre

“Why are is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it all here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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