Five Jokes: 2-16-2024
Prince Harry’s Sled Adventure, Satellite Crash Warning, Tennessee‘s Warm Beer Experiment, California’s Ethnic Studies Plans, and The U.S. Census Bureau's Sex Question
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Hey! It’s Friday in America, and no one has the heart to tell R2D2 and C3P0 that this isn’t what they actually look like:
Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Prince Harry raced head-first on a tiny skeleton sled going 61.5 miles per hour down a track at next year’s Invictus Games site, saying with a smile afterward that everyone should do it. And, somehow, this was the first thing to make his wife Meghan think, Oh, you’re WHITE white…
A dead satellite will crash back to Earth this month. In lieu of flowers, please track everyone’s movements. It’s what the satellite would have wanted.
Tennessee lawmakers hope to cut off DUI numbers by banning the sale of cold beer. However, certain brands are already prepared for the shift. Natural Ice, for instance, changed its slogan to “Hot Or Cold… If You’re Drinking This, You’re Already In A Bad Place.” While Heineken has made the controversial choice of changing its name to Car Soup.
California will require ethnic studies classes in high school next year. Which is a fancy way of saying “The history of people who didn’t invent powdered wigs.” But some already object to how the discipline addresses the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. School districts will likely settle on the neutral option of whispering “Connect the dots…” before playing any episode of Star Trek.
Finally…
The U.S. Census Bureau is thinking about how to ask about sex. Well… when one statistic loves another statistic they reveal their data to one another and multiply. But some do it just for the thrill.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
“The Meeting Of Great Black Inventors” from the sketch group Astronomy Club Featuring James III (my next guest on You Are The Genre — currently available to paid subscribers)!
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
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SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
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The Star Trek mic drop!!
Prohibition is back in Tennessee.