Five Jokes: 2-5-2024
Taylor Swift's New Album, An Increase Of Pointless Notifications, Record Flooding In Hollywood Hills, X's Influencer Solution, and A New Space Record
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Hey! It’s Monday in America, and Saturday Night Live writer Steven Castillo joins me in the latest episode of You Are The Genre!
→ We talk about the keys of writing an SNL digital short and his love of cinema, which all comes into play in this sketch that he co-wrote in the latest episode of that famous show that comes on when it’s technically almost Sunday:
[Paid subscribers can listen ahead to next week’s episode with comedian Milly Tamarez!]
Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Taylor Swift announced her new album, ‘The Tortured Poets Department,’ while accepting a Grammy. In a statement, the Biden administration announced that he’ll be listening to it very carefully before making any campaign promises about Guantanamo Bay. And, oddly, he did so through an album release of his own:
🎵 Get swifties off my back, Jack. I need a big win, Finn. And all citizens, to start votin’ for me. Hop on the Biden bus. No need to filibust! There must be 50 ways to run for office… 🎵
Social-networking apps have increased useless notifications, even if you aren’t very active — turning dating apps into a real will they/won’t they actually exist situation.
X, formerly Twitter, is paying celebrities and influencers to post original videos through the platform. Elon Musk developed the strategy by thinking, “Wait, I buy all of my friends in real life. Why can’t I do that online?..” and scribbling a “math equation” equation onto a window that was clearly a drawing of breasts.
Related: Some Tesla board members reportedly felt pressured to use drugs with Elon Musk
Mudslides, flooding and record rain have hit Hollywood Hills. And according to most religious leaders, it’s God’s response to the Netflix “Are you still watching?" question.
Finally…
A Russian cosmonaut has set a new record for the most time in space. He’s now entered the real estate business in hopes of breaking the record for the most space in time.
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Rob Haze is truly one of the funniest comedians out there and he has a hilarious new special called Frontin’:
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
Rewind to my final text interview of last year with comedian/filmmaker Melody Kamali!
“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:
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See you tomorrow with…
You have it correct in miracles, and you know we scream, “oh help me, Lord” when the proverbial accident starts slipping into a royal f’ up!
Musk isn't paying me squat, and I have about 3,000 people following me on X. So I'm obviously not a "celebrity".