Five Jokes: 3-11-2024

Best Picture Moment, Princess Kate's Confession, Boeing Mystery, U.S. Driver Data, and The U.S. Middle East Strategy

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Rob Schulte

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→ We chat about his journey from high school theater to producing podcasts at networks like Maximum Fun, Team Coco and Sonar + hosting his own Vanderpump Robs podcast about the Bravo series ‘Vanderpump Rules’ — which has an exciting live event coming up in Los Angeles!

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Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.

Y’all hear about this?..

• Al Pacino's sparked confusion with a casual Oscars best picture announcement. But no one was more confused than Pacino, who only said “Oppenheimer” because he thought he was purchasing a ticket at the box office. (He always carries the movie he wants to watch in an envelope.)

• Princess Kate has apologized for manipulating a family photo, saying she was experimenting with editing — and that the royals do not in fact “…own a Pikachu.”

• Boeing says it can't find documents on the door plug that blew off mid-air. When asked if they’ve checked the junk drawer, Boing said “No, it’s definitely not there because that’s where we keep the door plug screws.”

• Automakers are sharing U.S. consumers' driving behavior with insurance companies. Quote every married person:“But it doesn’t track how often I drive to Taco Bell for myself, right?”

Finally…

• As the United States continues providing Israel with munitions, the Pentagon is delivering food and other assistance to Gazans by sea and air. It’s part of an ongoing U.S. strategy to confuse the hell out of Santa Claus during his “naughty or nice” list process. This psychological warfare tactic will hopefully lead to him handing over the North Pole territory.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Food for thought from Skyler Higley…

https://x.com/skyler_higley/status/1766870809610461268?s=61

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

With Oscars in the air, check out my short story about the gold that makes the award.

Object of Desire

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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