Five Jokes: 3-11-2025
A Washington Post Resignation, A Bernie Sanders-Led Resistance. A Texas Transgender Bill, A Problematic Netflix Special, and A Billionaire Downturn
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Hey! It’s Tuesday in America, I can’t stop thinking about how —
— and here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
A top political columnist for The Washington Post resigned this week, accusing Post chief executive and publisher Will Lewis of killing her column that criticized owner Jeff Bezos's drive to overhaul the opinion pages to focus on his libertarian priorities. In response, Lewis stated, “Well… I’d package her sentiments a little differently… You know… in a facility of over-worked, un-unionized workers, for instance…”
Drawing huge crowds, Bernie Sanders has stepped into leadership of the anti-Trump resistance. Turns out a growing number of American’s prefer an old man who has repeated the same liberal talking points for over 50 years to an old man who somehow manages to remix Hitler speeches with Village People lyrics whenever he opens his mouth.
A Texas bill would make identifying as transgender a felony punishable by jail. But… think about it… Texans are okay with people identifying as COW-boys?! Make it make sense!
Tony Hinchcliffe, the comedian whose appearance at a New York rally for then-candidate Donald Trump drew bipartisan backlash after he made disparaging comments about Puerto Rico, has inked a deal with Netflix. Hinchcliffe and Chappelle will soon go on an expensive, Netflix-sponsored tour titled, Shit You Could Hear For Free At The Seedy Bar Across The Street.
Finally…
Technology company CEOs Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg, as well as Google co-founder Sergey Brin and luxury goods conglomerate boss Bernard Arnault have collectively lost $209 billion in wealth since attending Donald Trump’s inauguration. Complicating matters, Bernie Sanders has no idea what to do about them popping up at his rallies instead. “And here’s another thing!… Wait… When do we get a VIP section?”
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Brandi Denise is apocalypse ready…
STRAY THOUGHT
IN OTHER NEWS…
[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]
Photographers are on a mission to fix Wikipedia's famously bad celebrity portraits…
A $1m cactus heist that led to a smuggler's downfall…
Prime Video will stream Donald Trump’s TV series ‘The Apprentice’…
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
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If America is going to have incoherent old-man leadership, I would prefer that it would be from Bernie.