Five Jokes: 3-13-2024
Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s VP Options, Roku Hackers, Beyoncé's Album Title, Attack Of The Wordle Clones, and The Return Of The Mystery Monoliths
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Hey! It’s Wednesday in America, and here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is considering Aaron Rodgers or Jesse Ventura for a 2024 running mate. You know it’s bad when even Donald Trump says, “Come on, man. You gotta take this at least a little seriously.”
Roku hackers breached 15,000 accounts and are selling them online. There’s apparently a big market for people who want to start wherever you left off watching reruns of Living Single.
Beyoncé has revealed that the name of her highly anticipated "Act II" album is "Cowboy Carter.” Explaining this leaked photo of the cover.
The New York Times has sent takedown notices to "hundreds" of coders who've made clones of the popular word game, Wordle. But many won’t realize it unless they unravel the five-letter words of the takedown notice within six guesses. Hint: You can actually summarize most of them with one four-letter word!
Finally…
A shiny silver monolith, similar to the mysterious objects placed around the world in late 2020, was found in Wales — leading many conspiracy theorists to believe that even interdenominational beings don’t know what to do with IKEA parts.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Hoff Matthews uncovered this awkward muppet moment most of us forgot about…
[If you’re in NY, you can see me in Hoff’s latest short, March 16 at Club Video!]
And speaking of Roku — he’s also on the case:
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
Catch up on the top jokes from last week!
“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:
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