Five Jokes: 3-22-2024

The US Department of Justice vs Apple, Trumps Crazy RNC Finance Deal, A Rare 'Demon' Condition, The $1 Billion Mega Millions Jackpot, and Tennessee's ELVIS Act

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Y’all hear about this?..

• The US Department of Justice has accused Apple of operating an illegal monopoly in the smartphone market — arguing, “Come on, now… y’all know good and well this company ain’t one measly apple. It’s a full blown tree.”

• Trump’s new fund-raising deal with the Republican National Committee ensures that donations first go to the PAC that pays his legal bills before going to the party. Related: The DNC has announced its new slogan as, “Republican Party… You In Danger, Girl.”

• A man with rare condition sees people's faces as 'demons' in real life, but normal on screens. Interestingly — when asked what he sees while watching Willem Dafoe in movies, he said “Wait, that’s not Zendaya?”

  

• The Mega Millions jackpot is approaching $1 billion — and it turns out many notable people have not only entered the lottery, but also explained what they’d do with the winnings. For instance:

  • If Bernie Sanders wins the $1 billion jackpot, he’ll pay proper taxes and donate the rest to a charity called Toupée’s For Wizards.

    

  • And Donald Trump wins the $1 billion jackpot, he’ll:

    • Store it in an offshore account…

    • Allow campaign donors to pay his debts…

    • And slowly use the funds to construct this failed clone of himself:

      

(Feel free to write what you think other notable people would spend $1 billion on in the comments!)

Finally…

• Tennessee has enacted the ELVIS Act, which stands for Ensuring Likeness Voice and Image Security — and isn’t a movie starring the digital ghost of Elvis Presley in a knock off Sister Act film as we all feared.

  

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Okay, this is definitely a movie trailer and not a joke, but I’ll tell you why I’m interested in it (despite the controversy over the use of A.I. art — which I’m not a fan of). Late Night with the Devil is a horror film that takes place in a 70s late night program the likes of Johnny Carson. Something I’ve learned in many You Are The Genre episodes so far is how fine the line between horror and comedy really is. So, there’s something unique and thrilling about this premise.

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

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[James III] Is The Genre

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