Five Jokes: 3-27-2024
ALEXANDRIA LOVE TAKEOVER! - Pirates of the Caribbean Reboot?, Trump's Pivot To Bible Salesman, NBC's RNC Shakeup, Barack Obama's Biden Phone Calls, and The Healing Power Of New Languages
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It’s Wednesday in America and it’s your girl
taking over for all this week! I’ve been sending five SPICY jokes to your inbox every morning, and with your consent, I’d like to keep it going. Here are the five HOT single jokes currently in your area!Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.
Y’all hear about this?..
Disney announced this week that they are considering a reboot of the Pirates of The Caribbean franchise. Unfortunately, the other movies already covered all the historically accurate pirates, so this trilogy will be focusing on a millennial who illegally downloads a copy of How Stella Got Her Groove Back.
Trump posted a video urging his supporters to buy the “God Bless the USA Bible,” priced at around $60. It’s pretty much the same as the original bible except in this one, David keeps calling Goliath “Yuge.”
Just a few days after hiring RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel, NBC news has fired her due to strong backlash. Apparently, this was the quickest turnaround at NBC since Rachel got off that plane.
Barack Obama regularly calls top Biden aides to strategize about Biden’s re-election campaign. Apparently his proposed re-election strategy for Biden can be boiled down to two words: “You sure?”
Finally…
Research suggests that learning a new language can actually stave off dementia and improve your overall mental health. Learning a new language is also good for your physical health because if you break your 10-day Spanish streak, that owl will f**king kill you.
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Things that make you go 🤔 from Marcella Arguello…
https://twitter.com/marcellacomedy/status/1759421653543702789
STRAY THOUGHT FROM TIM
SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!
Things that make you go 😱 from me!
https://twitter.com/alexfromoakland/status/1751713953883791861
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Alexandria Love is a stand-up comedian, writer, and genius from Oakland, California. She is currently based in NYC. Alexandria has performed at comedy clubs all over the country from the SF Punchline to The Miami Improv. She’s been a part of numerous comedy festivals, including SF’s Comedy Day (2018), SF SketchFest (2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021), Out of Bounds in Austin, TX (2019), Silicon Valley Comic Con (2018, 2019), and South by Southwest (2019). The San Francisco Chronicle calls her a “stand-out” for the Comedy Day Celebration, and she was voted as a “Comedian to Watch” by the SFist in 2019. Citizens of Oakland, CA, might know her as the 19-time winner of the Dirty Haiku Battle at the Oakland Metro Opera House. Most recently, she has written for late-night television, having written 204 episodes of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Alexandria holds a B.A. in Modern Literature from U.C. Santa Cruz and an M.A. in Communications from the University of San Francisco.
There's only room for one peacock at NBC.