Five Jokes: 3-4-2024
Nikki Haley's First Win, CDC Non-Guidance, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s Chat Bot, Buildings Reach New Heights, And Restaurants vs Large Parties
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Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Nikki Haley just won her first primary victory in DC, but Trump is still crushing the GOP race. To the tune of Sally Field winning her Oscar, Nikki shouted “You think I’m slightly better than the alternative! You REALLY think I’m slightly better than the alternative!”
The CDC has dropped COVID-19 guidance for five-day isolation. Meaning in the eyes of the government, you’re just a depressed weirdo.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s Microsoft-powered chatbot just disappeared. Microsoft’s CEO Satya Nadella awkwardly responded questions of “how?” with an Italian American accent saying, “I gave it an Outlook it can’t refuse.”
Apartment developers are creating bigger and taller properties, as rising costs push them to build more units to be profitable. Faith leaders now advise avoiding any parties in the apartments of Babel.
Finally…
Restaurants are shying away from reservation for big groups. Here’s an idea: Put one of those conference call machines at the center of each table. If a party of 10 splits up, at least they can still hear each other chew.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Yedoye Travis’ absurd interview with Vince Staples will either bless or curse your day with all of its stimulating ideas.
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
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I suppose the taller buildings will combat the fact that NYC is sinking from the weight of said buildings ☺