Five Jokes: 4-15-2024

Stolen Lego Kits, Grimes' Bad Coachella Set, Trump's Personal Voting Rights, A Subatomic Particle Breakthrough, and A Scammer Scam

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Hey! It’s TAX DAY in America and as you frantically file for an extension you can listen to the latest episode of my You Are The Genre podcast featuring journalist and Juniper Media founder Madeline Moitozo!

→We chat about navigating her career through the ups and downs of news industry and finding her voice as a journalist. Here’s an example of the work that her company, Juniper Media, produces:

[Paid subscribers can listen ahead to next week’s episode with comedian Ian Abramson! ]

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Police arrested four people over $300,000 of stolen Lego kits. Five hours into questioning, officers learned they’d actually arrested four Lego men. “Reality gets a little trippy when you’re surrounded by $300,000 worth of plastic blocks,” said one detective before chipping his tooth on a doughnut and realizing his feet were lodged into a grid of protruding cylinders.

• Grimes apologized to fans after a rocky Coachella set left her screaming: 'I will not let such a thing happen again.' It should be noted that Grimes screamed the exact same thing between naming her children X Æ A-Xii, Exa Dark Sideræl, and Techno Mechanicus.

• If convicted this year, Trump could lose the right to vote for himself. Upon learning this, he was overheard muttering, “Am I one of the Blacks now?”

• Long-anticipated experiments that use light to mimic gravity are revealing the distribution of energies, forces, and pressures inside a subatomic particle for the first time. So, no, I will not be “paying” the “check” for this “expensive lobster dinner.” Good day.

Finally…

• After Twitch streamer Kitboga realized people were taking advantage of his grandma, he decided to fight back by scamming the scammers.  As a result…

  

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

If you enjoyed those, check out last week’s jokes! And consider becoming a (free or paid) subscriber:

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

• A fair warning from Camille Corbett…

  https://twitter.com/TheWittyGirl/status/1779242899294834917

  

• Every now and then a sketch comes along with perfect structure, timing and surprise. But on top of that I love that this one makes me respect every single background extra who kept a straight face.

• Ian Abramson, whose episode of You Are The Genre is available now to paid subscribers, has a few clips out from his debut special, The Heist! Here’s one of my favorites:

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

How therapy sessions typically go for me… [check out more of my Uncertain Life comics here!]

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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