Five Jokes: 4-29-2024

California Burger Prices, Colin Jost At The White House Correspondents' Dinner, Reverse Ageing, A Top Level A.I. Friendship, and A "Dark Energy" Update

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Hey! It’s Monday in America, and shout out to the great Mike Poole who wrote jokes for you here last week! And before we get to jokes from ME this week — check out the brand new episode of my You Are The Genre podcast featuring the amazing multi-hyphenate Kerry Coddett (Flatbush Misdemeanors, Ramy, Wyatt Cenac’ Problem Areas).

→ We chat about forging her genre-defying career and how writing connects all of her creative pursuits:

[Paid subscribers can listen ahead to next week’s episode with screeenwriter Jordan VanDina! ]

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• California fast-food restaurants are hiking the prices of burgers and burritos after the state raised the minimum wage. But some economists believe this hints at larger systemic issues within the food world itself. For instance, what was once a $5 footlong at Subway is now a $10 slab of meat that can barely afford rent inside of an Italian Herb & Cheese.

• Colin Jost headlined the White House Correspondents' Dinner. But that didn’t stop Joe Biden from leaning over to Jill every five seconds to ask, “Now Capser is a friendly ghost, right?”

  

• A Harvard geneticist claims to have reversed ageing — and while some colleagues applaud his claims, others say Professor Zygote has gone too far.

• A.I. executives Demis Hassabis and Mustafa Suleyman grew up together in London and now lead competing programs at Microsoft and Google. Which basically means we’re living in a gritty, British-produced sequel to Weird Science.

  

Finally…

• Physicists have deduced subtle hints that the mysterious “dark” energy that drives the universe to expand faster and faster may be slightly weakening with time. And this, my dear, is why I forgot our anniversary.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

A solution from Kyle Ayers…

https://twitter.com/kyleayers/status/1783268845576503331

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!

How I fell down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories trying to explain that SNL sketch with Beavis and Butt-Head:

OVERTHINKING That SNL Sketch w/ Beavis & Butt-Head

“Why are these people emailing five jokes a day?” —

Tim Barnes

explains it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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