Five Jokes: 4-5-2024

Biden's Re-Focus On Student Loans, Disney's Password Crackdown Date, The Top Voter Issue, Elon Musk's Blue Checkmark Reversal, and Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s Email Flub

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Hey! It’s Friday in America, and I can’t be the only person hoping to see a crossover event between these two shows:

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• President Biden will make a second attempt at large-scale student loan forgiveness as soon as next week. The biggest difference this time around is that he’ll attempt proposing it in his best Trump impression… which somehow just sounds like Jar Jar Binks.

  

  📷: Gage Skidmore

• The Disney Plus password-sharing crackdown starts in June — and in the months leading up, Mickey will test his new catchphrase "Run me my money!” while posing for photos at theme parks.

• Immigration is now the number 1 issue for voters. The number 2 issue? “Why my biracial grandchildren won’t talk to me.”

• Elon Musk reversed course, giving away free blue checkmarks to some of the X’s most popular users. Now, the only thing sadder than simply knowing someone paid for their checkmark is also knowing exactly how unpopular they are.

Finally…

• A Robert F. Kennedy Jr. campaign email called the Jan. 6 Capitol rioters “activists” who had been “stripped of their Constitutional liberties.” The campaign later retracted the statement — calling them “a flash mob dance routine gone horribly wrong” instead.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

• You ever see a standup clip that makes you say, "Book this guy on Conan" even though it's 2024? That’s how I felt when Otto Fernandez posted this.

• Excited to try the new McDonald’s Dune burger! Thanks to Khail Anonymous for the tip!

A GOOD READ

This headline from The Verge stopped me in my tracks. We’re really living in the future-future right now, huh?

https://www.theverge.com/2024/4/4/24121419/meta-instagram-ai-image-generator-asian-race

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

Take a trip back to my You Are The Genre interview with comedy writer/interviewer

Mike Sacks

! He’s re-releasing his classic set of interviews with comedy writers, And Here’s The Kicker, April 30! (MikeSacks.com)

[Mike Sacks] Is The Genre

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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See you next week with 25 more jokes!

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