Five Jokes: 4-8-2025
China vs The U.S., RJF Jr.'s Vaccine Endorsements, Stephen A. Smith For President, Microsoft's Protest Retaliation, and Animal Gene Remixing
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Hey! It’s Tuesday in America, I’m in a book from Mike Sacks that’s out now, and —
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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China has vowed retaliation and a 'fight to the end' after Trump's latest tariff threat — that is, at least, how The White House is taking the “poke” they just got from China on Facebook.
An endorsement of the measles, mumps and rubella vaccine by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has provoked an angry outcry from anti-vaccine activists. But, joke’s on them because Robert F. Kennedy Jr. thinks Measles Vaccine, Mumps Vaccine, and Rubella Vaccine are a trio of sibling strippers.
ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith says he’s “officially leaving all doors open” to potential presidential bid. Barack Obama looks forward to being hired as his reverse anger translator.
Microsoft has fired the Morrocan software engineer who disrupted its 50th-anniversary event by calling AI CEO, Mustafa Suleyman, a “war profiteer” and demanding that Microsoft “stop using AI for genocide in our region.” Ever the stickler for words, Suleyman clarified “It’s war ENTREPRENEUR.”
Finally…
According to a company that aims to make lost species return, three genetically engineered wolves made to resemble extinct dire wolves are trotting, sleeping and howling in an undisclosed secure location in the U.S. But that still doesn’t explain the section of their mission statement that reads: “But your daddy ain’t never coming back.”
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Never mind the mission statement: I just care that they're bringing the old wolves back.