Five Jokes: 5-22-2025
The Tesla Slump, Kim Kardashian's Graduation, FEMA's Plan Shift, Kermit's Big Speech, and Retirement Ages
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, apparently has a humor chart that I’m currently ranking #46 in (seriously, thanks for all of your support) —
— Democratic mega-donors are debating plans to spend tens of millions of dollars to "find the liberal Rogan,” and somehow, during the hunt for a Joe Rogan of the left, I’m —
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Tesla cars were outsold by a rival electric-vehicle manufacturer in Europe for the first time. In a low moment, Elon Musk sighed and muttered “Jeeze, guess I gotta buy Europe now too…”
Kim Kardashian has graduated from her four-year Law Office Study Program. It’s unknown if former husband and current 47-year-old Hitler Youth, Kanye West attended the graduation, but the family oddly hopes that’s who was cheering under the mascot bear outfit in the crowd.
FEMA has canceled its 4-year strategic plan ahead of hurricane season — and it has no idea how to explain its decision to pursue impov comedy instead. “United States Department of Homeland Security… General Federal Government… I’m a comedian.”
Kermit the Frog will deliver commencement address at the University of Maryland graduation. Graduates will wait with bated breath to see if the 70-year-old television icon will finally admit that yes, it’s not easy being green, but it’s much harder to be Black or brown.
Finally…
America's average retirement age keeps rising — a tragic result of the the afterlife’s overcrowding issue.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Hoff Matthews gets Andrew Cuomo to answer honestly…
STRAY THOUGHT
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