Five Jokes: 5-16-2024
Robot Commencement Speech, iPhone's "Nudes" Problem, Biden/Trump Debates, Uber's New Shuttle Service, and Surprising Gun Stats In Illinois
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America and here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
An A.I. robot named Sophia gave a commencement address at Buffalo’s D’Youville University. And, given the uproar during Seinfeld’s Duke University speech amid the rising death toll in Gaza, it was lightly suggested that the robot avoid the topic of Pop-Tarts.
iPhone owners say the latest iOS update is resurfacing deleted nudes. And, even stranger, that the nudes are from pioneers of the old west.
Biden and Trump will debate in June and September. But the terms have changed — That’s right… they both have to be dressed as the opposing candidate to test the true will of the American people. Is this a picture of Donald Trump as Biden or Biden as Trump? Only your heart can decide.
Uber will offer shuttle rides from concerts in the US. Great news for drivers, who will now reach even more people by saying, “You know, I’m a bit of a musician myself” after a well timed lull.
Finally…
A report shows that over 80,000 Illinois people banned from owning guns still keep them. Playing devils advocate here, is a “gun” still a “gun” if there are no bullets and you only use it as a coffee stirrer?
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
A funny short from the talented Noah Cutwright!
STRAY THOUGHT
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
Take a trip down memory lane to my You Are The Genre interview with former TV critic,
, ahead of next week’s interview with film critic !![[Ashley Ray] Is The Genre](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!doTB!,w_140,h_140,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3f4ef9fa-2c71-476f-8c8d-18f1671107db_3000x3000.png)
upcoming shows
STAGE READING: Sunday, May 19, 2024 @ 7:30 PM - 8:10 PM — I’ll be part of the stage reading of Shaun Menchel’s Area 27 pilot as part of Brooklyn Comedy Collective’s Pitchfest! (TICKETS)
SHORT FILM: Chemistry Test
A few years back, Andrew Sanford told me about an odd chemistry test experience. I’d never even heard of one, which added to the strangeness. I said “hey, you should write something about that” and now it’s a short somehow starring me and co-directed by Jim Fagan that you can finally see May 31st in Brooklyn for TOOTSIE'S VIDEO VAULT at Littlefield! 7PM Doors 8PM Show (TICKETS)
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I already know the difference between Old White Joe and Dumb Donald- and I'm not even an American!